Bad news. I was scammed out of thousands of dollars Wednesday. Did you hear that? THOUSANDS of dollars. Me. Me!!! Does that surprise you? I hope so! Because it sure does surprise me. I feel utterly humiliated. Betrayed. Ashamed. Violated. Weak. Deceived. Idiotic. Looking back, I see clearly. But they hooked me from the beginning. I was busy. Multitasking. Not paying attention. Vulnerable. I took the bait.
The lies followed along these lines. A call came while I was in the middle of working on other things. Lots of other things. Normally I don't answer calls from numbers I don't know, but we have been gathering estimates for a home reno job, so in my frenzy, I casually assumed it was one of the contractors. This only adds to how the whole thing blindsided me. It was a live person on the other line, not a recording. They were very professional sounding, and the matter they were calling about was very urgent. They were from the Social Security Administration. My social security card was being used for fraudulent, criminal activity including money laundering and drug trafficking. I was a suspect because it was my SSN, but I could speak to a US Marshal who would represent me in court and prove my innocence. I could follow the ADR Protocol. I would receive a government issued digital wallet in which to safely store my money for 24 hours while all my other assets were frozen. I would be issued a new SSN. Two federal agents would visit my home within 24 hours, presenting me with a copy of the case file, gathering the receipts from my deposits and transferring my money back into my bank account. He could help. He was on my side. He was a US Marshal. I could help him catch the criminal. (Justice is kinda one of my hot buttons, and it got pushed HARD.) I needed to act now.
He created a false narrative that tapped into fear. He put my character into question. He convinced me to protect my family. He convinced me to protect my identity and to protect my money. Time was of the essence. This transaction is safe. It is completely secure. I'm on your side. I represent the US government and I represent you. He provided credentials. He provided proof. He gave me a case number and an employee ID and directed me to information on the web to verify it all. He sent text verifications. He built trust. I trusted him. As they say, your greatest strengths are often your greatest weaknesses. Trust may be my superpower. But, evidently, it can also be used against me. People always told me that.
If you receive a call from the "Social Security Administration" regarding your SSN being used for fraudulent activity that has been promoted up the chain to the US Marshals just hang up. I know you know this. For goodness sake...I know this! As I said. Busy. Distracted. Do not speak to said "US Marshall." This was a very strategic, manipulative, criminal scam. Eric, my husband, actually suspects they used psychological tactics akin to hypnosis to lure me in. Looking back and doing a little research makes me think this is a plausible reality. Especially in light of what happened when I "snapped out of it" and experienced a visceral, full body reaction that almost made me park my car on the side of the road so as not to put myself or others into vehicular danger. Immediately, I saw the whole picture in brilliant clarity. I broke out into a cold sweat. My vision began to narrow. My heart started pounding out of control. But by then it was too late. (As a side: if I could somehow prove I was hypnotized, I would feel slightly less guilty and ashamed. So let's just go with that, shall we?)
My pride has been wrecked (maybe a good thing?!) and I wanted to crawl in a hole and never show my face again (maybe a natural, but unhelpful response?!). I feel deeply embarrassed. Diminished. Gullible. Uneducated. Untrustworthy. Unworthy. But the truth is that I was the victim of a well orchestrated, deceitful crime. I share this in hopes that one of you might be spared this shame and humiliation and potential financial ruin. (As a side, we're fine. It was a significant amount of money. An embarrassing amount. But we'll be fine!)
So now I'm making choices. I'm reflecting on this experience, looking for the lessons I need to learn. I'm choosing to forgive because "hurt people hurt people." This man has been hurt in his lifetime. His response to his own pain is to hurt other people. I'm choosing compassion over bitterness even though I'm still angry and sad. And I'm angry at myself for feeling compassion for this person who embodies selfishness and dishonor and deceit. He does not deserve my forgiveness. But somehow, I just can't help myself. There is freedom in forgiveness. And I want to be free. My heart is still beating in my chest, even though that heartbeat feels a little weaker than before all this. And my silly heart just goes out to this person. Somehow, I just can't let go of my faith in the innate goodness of God and in the goodness of God that is reflected in humanity. I've tried. Seriously. But deep, deep down I believe we were all made in the image of this Creator God. And if He's good, then there has to be something good in our very nature that reflects our Creator. Plot twist: there's probably something good in that man who led me like a lamb to the slaughter.
This bud of hope and goodness just keeps trying to break through the surface, even when I want to stamp it down. So, what are my options? Bitterness and hate? Or compassion and love. I'm embracing the compassion and love and waiting to see what might bloom. I hold hope that it's something good and beautiful and true. Isn't that the best option? Maybe it's the only option. Because hurt people hurt people. And the last thing I want to do is to hurt people. (Don't worry. I still froze my credit with all the bureaus and filed a report with the FBI and IRS and Attorney General and, and, and. Remember that part I said about justice? So there's still that.)
Stay safe out there, friends! And know that I'm here for you. If make a stupid mistake that you immediately regret...I can relate. If you feel guilty because you caused negative outcomes not only for yourself, but for others...I can relate. If you have been assaulted and taken advantage of and manipulated and gaslighted and (looking back) you feel like you could have prevented it all...I can relate. If you feel like you need to fix this problem that you created because "you break it, you buy it"...I can relate.We don't share the same exact stories. But we share the same general emotions and feelings. And somehow, some supernatural way, we can share the same healing and the same hope. Please know that you're not alone. Please reach out. I'm here for you.
